Saturday, January 25, 2014

Monster Crap Inductee: After Earth (2013)

Monster Crap Inductee: After Earth
2013 GINO Award Winner

Folks, 2013 came to an end nearly a month ago and already I am not happy. Not only were my Carolina Panthers robbed out of a game against the San Francisco 49ers by refs who were obviously one-sided with their calls (20 of the Niners 23 points were on drives that benefited from bad calls or no-calls), but I just received news that my father got laid off. Hopefully this year gets better because honestly, I will be rather grumpy until it does and that is not something films I induct do not want me to be. So alas let’s start off with the movie that was picked by a damn good majority of you to be the worst film (involving a monster) of 2013 and that film is the complete disaster known as After Earth.

Now if you are wondering what my favorite films of 2013, here they are in alphabetical order since I don’t know what order to put them in.

·         12 Years A Slave
·         American Hustle
·         Don Jon
·         Frozen
·         Gravity
·         Lee Daniels’ The Butler
·         Pacific Rim
·         The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
·         The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
·         The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty

Now let’s get to some information about the perpetrators behind this film.

In the late 80s – early 90s, a young man from Philadelphia became part of a huge rap duo known as DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. That man of course was one Will Smith.

He’s The Guy On The Right

Will Smith while a decent rapper also had a knack for being a good actor. He started off that gift by starring on a hit TV show called The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

RIP James Avery, Who Was The Fatherly Figure Of The Show Uncle Phil, Who Sadly Passed Away On January 1st Of This Year.

He would then go on to film and make his big break in the sci-fi action film Independence Day.

This Is A Dumb, Yet Completely Fun Film

He would continue that success with the Men In Black films and Bad Boys II (Bad Boys 1 may have been before Independence Day, but that film solidified him). Unfortunately, he has also been in some complete dud of films like Wild Wild West, Shark Tale, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Seven Pounds. He would also marry Jada Pinkett and they would have two kids (he had a third from a previous marriage).

One of those two kids he had with Jada was Jaden Smith who decided himself to get into acting and got some roles thanks to his dad. Now Jaden isn’t completely terrible as he was pretty good in the Karate Kid remake, but he definitely needs to not be given long time dialogue scenes and have better actors who are better characters to play off of. If not, he shows his terribleness like when he did in The Day The Earth Stood Still remake.

But thanks to The Karate Kid remake, Will decided that his son should be a major star like himself and since his star shined brightest in a sci-fi film, he decided that Jaden will shine in a sci-fi film too. So yeah, he got a studio to give him a film that he will guarantee will have the star power of Will Smith, but must star his son as the main character. Now this is not the first time Will was in a film with his son since they were both in The Pursuit of Happyness, which is an okay film, but Will was the main character, not Jaden.

Add one more moment of complete stupidity and arrogance in the Smith’s part and ego when they hired as their film’s director one M. Night Shyamalan.

Now for those of you who don’t know, Shyamalan was a director who had potential with films like The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, but then had his film’s quality get worse with Signs, The Village, Lady In the Water, The Happening, and The Last Airbender. It should be telling of how far he has gone from becoming a potential great to a director who is box office poison that despite being the director and being a name, he wasn’t promoted as being a part of the film AT ALL. No, seriously….no commercial or trailer really mentioned that M. Night Shyamalan was the director.

Well, we’ll see later on how this whole idea to not highlight M. Night Shyamalan at all worked out, but for now…let’s get to the review.

We start with audio clips saying “Mayday”. Our first visual scene is Will Smith’s character telling Jaden’s character to look at him and breath calmly from the air masks that they both have on. Will’s character then gets sucked away as Jaden’s character screams for his dad.

We then see Jaden’s character on the ground waking up from the crash and then narration from his character saying that he has heard stories of Earth, which was a paradise until we destroyed it. Then we get footage of all the environmental crap we have done, which makes me worry that we are getting an environmental propaganda film. Then we get the title.

We then hear about the finding of the United Ranger Corp. and the evacuation of Earth to Nova Prime and why are we evacuating Earth? Because we fucked it up. Then at Nova Prime, we find out that we aren’t the only ones who want the planet as aliens attack and send in Ursa, creatures bred to kill humans by sensing the pheromones we secrete when we are frightened.

And what of these aliens that wanted to kill us? How the fuck should I know because other than releasing the Ursa, these aliens are never seen from or heard from through the rest of this film. Yes, we never get to know who these aliens that want to exterminate us are. You can kind of sense a short sighted problem with this film.

Anyway, all seemed lost for us when the rangers and Will Smith’s character came into play. What is Will Smith’s character’s name, you ask? His name is Cypher Raige.

No, I’m not kidding. Whoever wrote this crap decided that Cypher Raige is a great name for a character.

You are going to be seeing a lot of Godzilla facepalming here, but let’s get to the name. Cypher Raige is one of the stupidest character named I have ever heard. Hell, names like Zap Rowsdower, and Ted Fast are better names because at least part of those names are believable for someone to be named. No person is going to name their kid Cypher Raige, unless they want to give their kids years of psychological abuse that will come from kids making fun of his name.

Enough with the crap of the dumbass name, what does Cypher Raige do to beat these Ursa? Well, he does a technique called Ghosting where a person has no fear. And when we say no fear, we don’t mean that they are not paralyzed by their fear, I mean that he doesn’t secrete any of the pheromones that come with fear.

Sorry movie, but that is not the way human beings or any living creature work. Pheromones are not something you can decide to turn on and off like a light switch. They exist and come out whenever. Those fear pheromones would come out no matter what. Does this film think that guys like Evel Knieval or any stuntman don’t have those fear pheromones? Because I can assure you that those people would tell you that they still are afraid, but they have learned to do it anyway and not allow that fear to conquer them. That’s why it is called “Conquering Your Fear”. You are so full of stupid, film.

Someday I Will Find My Parents And Kick Their Ass For Naming Me Cypher Raige. Seriously, Who Names Their Kid That?

We then go to 3 days earlier (we mean 3 days before than when these two dimwits crashed from Earth, not 3 days before all that other stuff this kid was talking about), we go to the Nova Prime Human Settlement in the Nova Solar System.

Thanks Movie

Here we see men and women going for a jog. Of course one of these people running is Jaden Smith’s character whose name is Kitai (okay, that is a dumb name too, but it is more believable than Cypher). He decides to jog faster than everyone else even though one of the others mentions that this is not a race.

He gets called into the office and is told that while his test scores are impressive, he sucks in the field so he is not a ranger. Kitai tries to beg for the commander to reconsider since his father is coming home and he would really like to tell his father that he is now a ranger, but the boss is resolute on his stance and says that he is doing Kitai a favor by not advancing him to the status of ranger. Here we see that Jaden is struggling with his dialogue and trust me when I say the more time he gets in this film, the worse his delivery will be.

So Cypher comes home and greets his family (who he hasn’t seen in a while) with the same look he has through all of this film.

Gotta Have My Serious Face….Can’t Show Any Emotion On My Face Other Than Serious

Cypher greets his wife Faia and gives her a hug.

Still Not Showing Any Other Emotion On My Face

At dinner, Kitai has to tell his dad that he failed to advance to ranger. Despite not showing any other face, he does show emotion in a different way, with his voice. He is not happy that his son didn’t advance, but believes that he was not ready despite the fact that his son believes that he was ready. Kitai is no longer hungry and we get this dialogue.

Kitai: I’m going to my room.
Cypher: Are you asking? Or are you telling?
Kitai: May I go to my room, sir?
Cypher: Denied! Sit Down!

This dinner scene shows exactly what is wrong with Will Smith and Jaden Smith together in this film? Despite being a legit father and son, they have no chemistry playing father and son. And I mean just in this film. He had chemistry with his son in The Pursuit Of Happyness, but they were playing a caring father and son. Here, Will at times says his lines like he is a caring father and then realizes he can’t be that type of father so he goes back to square one. You can’t play father and son in a film (even if you are a legit father and son) if you do not act like a father and son.

We then see that Faia makes art through computers as Cypher gives his wife a necklace. He tells her that he is going on his last trip to Iphitos to supervise training and after that is complete, he will announce his retirement as he wants to be with his family more. Faia however wants Cypher to have father-son bonding time by taking him on the trip with him. Oh and Faia mentions that Kitai blames himself for what happened to Senshi. Who is Senshi, you ask?

Besides Being The TNA Name For Low Ki

Well Senshi is apparently the daughter that Cypher and Faia had who died, but we’ll get to that later on as this film gets to it. Cypher relents and allows his son to go to Iphitos with him. And of course Kitai has this look on his face.


We then see Faia come to see the two take off and here we see Kitai have more of a chemistry with his mother (who is not his real mother) than he does have with his father (who is actually his real father). So of course this will be the last time we see Faia.

Bye Faia…

We then see more stroking of the ego of Will Smith as his character Cypher is greeted by a man whose life he saved despite having one leg. The guy has his fellow officers stand him up so he can properly salute Cypher.

In space, Kitai tries to have a conversation with his father by mentioning that he is reading Moby Dick, but Cypher seems more concerned with whatever the hell he is doing.

Gotta Find Out Who Won The Game, Fuck What My Son Is Talking About

Cypher then decides to take some Rec time (sleep) and suggests that his son do the same. Kitai then decides to reject that request and go exploring while his father is sleeping. He then sees a room that he is not allowed to enter.

So He Enters….

He comes across what looks like a giant wasp hive.

He gets caught by guards who are watching over this hive-looking thing and we learn that it is an Ursa egg. Of course they are originally pissed that he is in this restricted area, but when one of them mentions that he is Cypher’s son, they ease up on him. The guards ask if he wants to see if he can Ghost and they decide to see if he can by having him go close to the creature while telling him what goes down when your Fear pheromones act up.

Guys, this is so not the place for this tomfoolery. Seriously, this is a ship with a bunch of trainees who are not rangers yet and you know it takes rangers who can Ghost to take down that creature. You are on a space ship which means you cannot just go outside if that thing gets loose so if he cannot Ghost, the creature will wake up and you are all on basically a flying coffin because you will all die in these close quarters.

I Sense Something Completely Stupid Happening

Kitai starts having memories of the day his sister Senshi died while he was put into a sphere for safety. We don’t see her death, but we do see younger Kitai put into the safety sphere.

Luckily before these dumbasses get everyone killed, Cypher comes in to put a stop to all of this and send Kitai away. Cypher also uses his wedding on the walls to feel that this ship is about to feel some turbulence. He tells Kitai to put on his life suit because this ship might be getting bumpy as he tells the pilots to try and escape what is going on. They explain scientific nonsense of asteroid storms and the one in a million chance that they might expand which means the storm will be on the ship in minutes.

They of course explain that if they pull away, the pull of their own graviton could set the asteroid storm off so they decide to hold course and hope the damn thing doesn’t expand. Well, of course the asteroid storm expands and they are now caught in the storm which fucks the ship up. They try to warp drive and that of course makes things worse. They put oxygen masks on people, but Kitai is too scared to put his on and conserve the oxygen in the mask. They find a nearby planet to attempt to land on, and guess which planet that is.

Hi, Earth

Of course this planet is quarantined and the computer says they should not land. But of course, they have to land because if they go for another planet, the ship will break apart. We then go back to the scene we saw at the beginning where Cypher calms his son down and gets him to breathe normally before he gets pulled out. The entire ship falls apart it crashes into Earth and because Kitai is so scared, he doesn’t breathe calmly and passes out.

But because Kitai was the only one with his seatbelt, he is the only one who survives. Kitai gets off the ship and finds his dad, whose is also alive.


Seriously, Cypher flew through the damn room and his only injury is he can’t feel his leg. While that would be serious enough, he should be a quadriplegic based on his trajectory. This movie tries to be so scientific with its complex terms, they fuck up with simple science. And people wonder why this movie is getting this induction.

Cypher then basically gives his son the objective of looking for the emergency beacon.

It’s Broken

They look for the second half of the ship, which will have a backup emergency beacon, which is basically 100 kilometers away and will take several days to get to. Cypher of course would do it himself, but he can’t walk so he has to send Kitai to get the beacon. He gives him six infiltration inhalers so he can breathe easier in the environment. Cypher explains that with Kitai’s weight he should be able to need to take one every 24 hours, which is more than enough to get to the other side. He gives him a backup with digital and virtual imaging so he will see what he sees and what he cannot see. He gives him a cutlass so he can defend himself against everything on Earth. He tells him that every decision will be life or death. He also says that everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans. We then reveal that we are on Earth, which by the title…we all knew.

Oh and then Kitai remembers the day his sister got killed.

Well, At Least We Get To See His Sister Die This Time

Kitai asks about the Ursa, which Cypher responds that there are three possibilities. The first is it died in the crash. The second and less likely is that it is injured, but still alive and contained. The third and least likely is the Ursa is out. They of course will proceed in preparation for the worst case scenario (which is smart since you know damn well the worst will happen in a movie). He then says escape and evade is the protocol and if anything is out there, Cypher will see it long before Kitai does. Cypher finally says that Kitai should do exactly as he tells him and they will survive. Kitai responds by hugging his father who gives the same uncaring look.

So Kitai goes on his big adventure to ensure their survival. He of course sees a dead body and starts to look like he is getting nervous, but his father through his communicator on his arm tells him to calm down and take a knee.

Kitai starts climbing a wall and gets spooked by a spider, almost making him fall off. He lies to his father who for some reason did not see the spider by saying he is fine and just slipped when asked what happened.

Luckily No American Gladiators Showed Up To Jerk Him Off This Wall Or Kitai Would Be Screwed

He gets to the top of the wall and sees herds of buffalo.

Cypher Rage then shoots out a bunch of probes from the ship in search of the Ursa. He then tells Kitai that at night, most of the planet freezes over except for hot spots which he needs to get to each evening before nightfall because if he doesn’t, he will die. Meanwhile, Cypher is about to take a pain killer to numb the pain of his broken leg before he has visions of his dead daughter Senshi talking to him.

Hey, It’s Lenny Kravitz’s Daughter

Actually, I should be nicer to Zoe Kravitz since she has been in some stuff like X-Men: First Class (where she played the mutant Angel Salvadore, who had dragonfly wing tattoos on her back that turned into real wings) so it wasn’t like they hired her just because she was Lenny Kravitz’s daughter. Besides, for what little her character does in this film, she actually plays this role fine and may be the best acted character in this film.

In this flashback, Senshi shows him that she found a copy of Moby Dick from a boy she knew who said she could hold on to it. Senshi asks Cypher if they really killed these whales and the hamfisted message of our evil doings comes in when her dad responds that “we” killed the whales for their oil and they almost disappeared just before the age of carbon fuels.

Yeah, oil is a carbon-based fuel, you moron. Now if you are talking about biofuels like ethanol, well…I would like to remind you that the fucking reason more people don’t use biofuels is because it has been revealed that the biofuels actually did more harm to the environment than the fuels they tried to replace them with (which was what they were trying to say biofuels were better than to begin with). So take this whole bullshit about “oil being replaced by biofuel was for the better” and shove it up your ass.

Anyway, he gets woken up from his visions from Kitai who asks if he is still there, which Cypher responds that he is and puts the painkillers away because extreme drowsiness will be a side-effect and he can’t afford to be drowsy in a time like this. Kitai is in the woods and his suit turns black which means something is coming close. Yeah, his suit is made of smart fibers which do motion detection and Cypher tells him that the thing in motion is coming towards him. The thing that is in motion?

A Baboon

Remember what Cypher said about all living creatures being evolved to kill humans? Well, then he tells his son to not move or provoke the baboon in anyway. So yeah, this ape won’t kill Kitai unlike what he said earlier that everything will kill you, which makes that earlier statement bullshit.

So Kitai decides to throw a rock at the baboon.

Don’t Worry…I Got Robert Seidelman’s Approval To Use This

Yeah, throwing rocks at baboons, not a smart idea. And of course it comes back to bite him on the ass because more baboons show up and they are all pissed. Well, Cypher still tries to tell him to stand down, but Kitai still decides to flail his arms in the arm and try to shoo them away. Well, now the apes are chasing him now.

Yeah Don’t Ask For This Ape To Help…He Is Done With You

Kitai runs to the river and thanks to some parkour shit, is able to get there before the apes can catch him and kick his ass. Kitai keeps running when Cypher finally tells him to calm down. In fact, Cypher says a line I think we would all use in this case.

Cypher: Kitai, you are running from nothing.

Cypher gets him to take a knee and scolds him for what he did back there saying that if you want to die today, that is fine with him…but he is not taking his father with him. Cypher then sees that Kitai is showing toxins and what is causing this contamination?

A Leech

Kitai gets the leech off him, but he is now dying from the poison so Cypher talks him through it and tells him to inject the anti-toxin in sequence. He injects himself in the heart with the first and second stage. Kitai then decides to take a nap to allow the anti-toxin to cure him of the poison. And now we are at the point from earlier in the film where Kitai was on the ground narrating to us.

But he doesn’t have long of a nap before Cypher wakes him up, telling him to go and find a hot spot so he won’t freeze to death. Kitai wakes up and we get this line that probably a lot of people said when they left the movie.

Kitai: That sucked…
Cypher: That is correct.

Cypher sticks a tube from his thigh to his shin so the blood can still flow from those areas and while doing so, he has more visions of Senshi, like when she was celebrating her 19th Birthday. In this vision, she gets Cypher to blow out her candles from a communication screen with the help of Kitai, who is actually there. Kitai is told to take his inhaler, but Kitai sees that two of his containers are broken. He decides lie to Cypher as he continues to the hot spot.

That night, he stays under a tree at the hot spot to avoid getting rained on. He asks his dad how he was able to Ghost. Cypher tells him a story of how when he was young, he was attacked by an Ursa while on a run and despite his efforts, the Ursa had him and was trying to drown him. Some point as he was dying, he decided that he didn’t give a care and that was when they Ursa couldn’t sense his fear pheromones anymore. He used that opportunity to kill the Ursa as it was blind. He even says that fear is not real. I could go back to how stupid that is and I could add that fear is actually an instinct more than a choice, but we need to get through this crap pile so let’s move on.

Anyway, after that story Kitai goes to sleep. The next day, Kitai continues on his voyage. He goes to a certain point and finds the arm of a baboon.

I’m Gonna Guess That Is An Omen For Something Bad

Yeah….That’s An Omen Alright

Kitai finally reaches the waterfall and now Cypher finds out about the two inhalers broke during the whole baboon/leech situation. Kitai thinks he can continue on with the mission while Cypher thinks it is over. Kitai then remembers his sister telling him the “That’s an order” line that his father just told him and remembered that she died as he watched.

He then argues with his dad as he said he could continue doing this and even said that his dad must think he made a mistake in trusting him. Kitai says that Cypher wouldn’t give that order to any other ranger, which Cypher reminds him that he is not a ranger. He then talks about his sister’s death and asks his dad what he was supposed to do. Cypher responds by asking his son what does he think he should have done because that is all that matters. Yeah, you can kind of feel that Cypher blames his son for his daughter’s death. Kitai blames Cypher for not being there because he is never there. This temper tantrum by Kitai shows that this role is way beyond Jaden Smith’s skill sets and he looks more like a baby than a man.

Kitai then sky jumps off the cliff against his father’s orders and tries to reach the bottom, but he gets attacked by a giant condor.

The condor eventually grabs Kitai and while grabbing him, breaks the only way Cypher can communicate with his son so Cypher of course thinks his son is dead. Kitai however is still alive and wakes up in the condor’s nest. The nest then is under attack by giant saber-toothed cats.

Kitai and the condor team up and try to save the condor’s young from the cats, but they both fail as the condor babies all die.

Kitai sees how enraged the condor is and decides it is best to make a run for it before he faces the condor’s wrath. Meanwhile, Cypher sees that the Ursa is loose. Kitai enters a cage and sees cavemen drawings which really means nothing for this film.

Oh, And He Sees A Flying Snake

Cypher then records a message that he hopes will get to his wife one day as he assumes he will die on Earth while Kitai in the cave maps out how he will plan to continue his message using the walls. The next day, Kitai takes his final inhaler and makes a raft.

During his nap on the raft, he has a conversation with his sister where he apologizes for not coming out to be with her, to which Senshi tells him that it wasn’t his fault. Kitai says that Cypher thinks he should have tried and she tells him that he is only mad at himself for not being there, making up for his own anger by placing the blame on his son. When asked why she couldn’t Ghost, she doesn’t respond, but you can guess it was because she worried about Kitai and that worry caused those fear pheromones to come out. Senshi then tells Kitai to get up because things are starting to freeze.

Unfortunately, Kitai is unable to get to a hot spot in time as he is overtaken by the cold and just lies down, prepared to die.

Luckily for him, something decided to sacrifice itself to save him by covering him up.

Yep…The Condor Saved Him At The Expense Of Its Own Life

Kitai sees the noble sacrifice of this creature and thanks it for what it has done. As Kitai continues to walk, he starts having breathing problems and has no inhaler to save him this time. But the good news is he has reached the tail end of the ship.

He finds an inhaler there and is able to stay alive. He also sees that the Ursa egg has hatched which means that he now knows the Ursa is around this area somewhere.

He finds a new communicator and speaks to his father who is glad to see he is alive.

Or Whatever His Dull Emotion Is Saying…

He finds a working beacon, but unfortunately the signal from where it is sucks ass.

Yeah, This Beacon Is As Reliable As A Cellphone In The Backwoods

You know this bullshit that happens is only there so we can continue this film. Kitai has another little temper tantrum before taking a knee and realizing that he needs to go up the volcano to get a better signal. And how do I know it is a volcano?

Because The Damn Thing Is Erupting

So basically the plan is to climb an active volcano that is in the midst of an eruption so you can get a better signal on your damn emergency beacon. With ash, lava, and the known rock slides that are happening at this very moment, I should not even have to describe how stupid of an idea this is.

But this film continues on as Kitai climbs the volcano. Kitai is then face to face with the Ursa in a cave and a chase happens.

Meanwhile that earlier bypass that Cypher did with the tube in his leg has failed and he passes out from the lack of consistent blood flow. Kitai gets knocked into an underground water passage which leads to a hole that he climbs while fighting off the Ursa that is right behind him. He finally climbs out of the hole and into an area where ash is falling from the sky.

Despite The Fact That The Ash Adds More Crap To That Atmosphere That Those Inhalers Barely Help With, He Breathes Fine.

He tries to use the beacon again, but this delay in trying to get a signal only causes the Ursa to show up and separate him from the beacon. Kitai then starts getting flashbacks as a whole of his sister being killed and it is at this moment that he finally starts to not care and the Ursa goes blind. Yes, Kitai has successfully Ghosted and is now able to use his cutlass to injure and kill the Ursa.

Kitai then grabs the beacon and since the signal now works, is able to send a signal that ripples through the galaxy and is able to get a ship to come and get them almost immediately.

In the ship, Kitai goes to meet his father, who has the other shoulders stand him up so he can salute his son.

His son would just rather a hug honestly.

Kitai confided in his father that after this whole experience, he would rather work with his mom and Cypher said that he wants to do the same too.

Oh My God…Cypher Is Finally Showing An Emotion!!!

We then see the ship leave Earth and we get to see them fly over the whales.

And thankfully and mercifully, this movie has come to an end.

So how did this movie do? Well, it got killed by the critics and has an 11% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but that doesn’t matter to Will Smith as much as the public, right? Well, the box office wasn’t kind as well because this film was a gigantic box office bomb. And the worst part for the Smiths is that because they did not even promote that M. Night Shyamalan directed the film, they cannot make him a scapegoat of any kind for the film bombing. So yeah, congratulations Will Smith, your vanity project to make your son a huge star was hated by not only critics, but the general public decided to not be for this film as well.

So since the aftermath is just recent, I won’t go into much of what happened to everyone in this film. All I will say is the objective of Will to make his son a star did not work because he doesn’t have any films booked at this time.

So my overall opinion of the film. I absolutely cannot stand this film and after watching this for this induction, I will never feel the need to watch this again. The idea of fear being a choice is bullshit because without fear, there is NO courage and if there is no courage, then we have no reason to care about your universe. The idea of everything on the planet being adapted to kill you is screwed when the apes only attack when provoked and the boars that have a cave which Kitai finds the cave drawings and sets up his plans, they don’t even bother with him. Going up a volcano that is erupting is one of the stupidest ideas I have ever heard. Will should never try to be completely serious all the time again because it does not work. He has to have a sense of humor and in this film, he doesn’t and just becomes a husk of what is one of the better actors out there. In trying to be a distant father, he completely shows no chemistry with his own son and that is something that is unforgivable. But Jaden truly suffers the most from this film, he shows that he is not ready to be the star that his daddy wants him to be and when those emotional scenes are supposed to happen, he seems more like a baby than a person we should care for. So congrats on the film because the only thing you got, was Razzie nominations that should be wins. And congrats on winning the 2013 GINO Award. The only solace I can give you is that while I hate this movie, it is not even close to being in the list of worst films I have ever inducted.

So now that we are done with this film, I have to announce that NegaSeth told me earlier on that he will not be announcing my next induction since he and I both know what that is. He also said that if I do not induct this film next, I would be letting down the fans since it was the co-winner of the November induction poll and was the film that I passed over for the other film since I only induct one movie a month. Basically, he guilt-tripped me into inducting this film next so let’s announce it right now.

Yep, Time For Some Blood Wings. Unfortunately, I Hate Wings.