Saturday, January 20, 2018

Monster Crap February Induction Poll

Ah....hear that? Of course you can't, but I can. Those are the screams and yelling of a man who has to watch the worst movie he saw last year. I thank you all for this joyous music that I am hearing with that loser dealing with his own futility in having to watch bad movies. And while he is sick too so it gets even better as he screams and then has to cough. I nearly cough up a lung laughing at this predicament and to continue his torture.

Since next is the month of February and Valentine's Day is the holiday of love, I've decide what monster symbolizes romance like vampires. So let's begin the first (and maybe only if I decide on something better) Vampuary. So here are ten crappy vampire films that this bastard has in his itinerary that need to go. 


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Return To Salem's Lot (1987)
Can I Not Do It, But Say I Did???

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From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999)
More Like Crap Money.....Am I Right????

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Bloodsuckers (aka Vampire Wars: Battle For The Universe) (2005)
Vampires In Space...This Never Ends Well

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Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)
This Sequel Should Have Stayed Lost From The Series

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Dracula 2000 (2000)
A Younger Leonidas As Dracula........Oh Dear God

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The Forsaken (2001)
The Night....Has A Bowel Problem

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Shadow Zone: The Undead Express (1996)
Next Stop...The Toilet

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The League of Extraordinary Gentleman (2003)
There Is A Reason Sir Connery Decided Retirement Was A Better Option Than To Continue After This Film, It Isn't  Because He Could Never Top It. 

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Samson vs. The Vampire Women (1962)
Vampires Greatest Threat Is Luchadors, Really???

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Mama Dracula (1980)
I Think I Should Get A Emancipation From This Film

Voting ends January 27 at 12 am



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